On our drive south from Reno to Big Sur, I thought we would “pop in” to have lunch with my best friend, Vince, in San Francisco. To my dismay, I was reminded that there simply is no “popping in” to San Francisco as the highways are packed.
While sitting in traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge, Josh and I contemplated just getting out of the truck and throwing ourselves off of it, but ultimately decided that would be too cliche. We had also mistakenly thought that the suicide net was already in place, but found out later that a budget was only recently passed for it and the net will be complete in 2021.
Vince suggested that we do something special since I was in town. He sent me a map to West Hellman Hollow in Golden Gate Park and told me to meet him there for the 39th Annual Hunky Jesus Contest. This competition is hosted by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a queer nun drag team based out of San Francisco. Follow the link to see more events and learn about their Sistory.
Driving into San Francisco was stunning because they allow old-growth trees and lush vegetation to grow on the sides of the highways. We saw vibrant orange poppies, yellow mustards waving in the breeze, and a hop vineyard being grazed by sheep.
Walking through the Golden Gate Park, I was overwhelmed with the stunning flora in bloom. We munched on some crispy chickweed and had to stop every few feet to look at the plants.
Left to Right: ID unknown, poppy, ID unknown
We followed the people clad in bunny ears until we found Vince by the stage.
Although the Jesuses weren’t all that hunky, we still had a great time and as usual the queens hosting were hilarious. Some of the competitors included Yoga Jesus, Sweet Jesus, Holy Trinity Jesus, Rolling Jesus, Gun Control Jesus, Dirty Old Jesus, Surprise Jesus, Refugejesus, Furry Jesus, The Cheezus, and Puerto Rican RefuJesus.
While enjoying the finest of Coors light and champagne at our picnic blanket, we were approached by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence themselves. Armed with a basket of candy, they offered with huge smiles, “Candy from a stranger? You know, the best candy is in the van.” We took some candy and as they walked away they praised, “Happy Easter! The Libido has Risen!”
The competition boiled down to Gun Control Jesus versus Puerto Rican RefuJesus. The hostess exclaimed, “This is what we value in San Francisco! We are a sanctuary city, we want gun control and open our arms to refugees. How are we supposed to choose!”
Gun Control Jesus was definitely the crowd pleaser with his “Shoot cum, not guns” sign, but it was Puerto Rican RefuJesus who won the day. He stormed the stage and threw paper towels out to the cheering crowd.
Celebrating Easter with a drag show in a park in San Francisco set my little heathen heart aglow. In the future I would personally like to see Zombie Jesus (seemed obvious) and Cardi B-zus.